Why isnt there a give up option some days...

Every time I think I decided on a path to start on a huge pothole gets in the way...I decided to at least apply for a different job where I can make a significant amount of money...that'd be great but now I realize no medical for 3 months if i'd get hired...well thats not gonna work...I doubt I can afford cobra insurance for the 3 months and I'd make too much money for any type of medical assistance...so now I'm just idling...

I feel like I'm back at the beginning of this dilemma again...the only pro to the other job is money...and money is important but all the cons like the drive, the hours, the probation period w/ no medical coverage...are kinda beginning to not seem like the money really isn't worth it...

Its just so frustrating...and the only person I can be frustrated at is myself for getting me into this mess...and don't misunderstand I will love this kid and give it the world and never hold my error against it cause it didn't ask for any of this...and maybe I'm just too hard on myself but when your the only one who is being held accountable its just disappointing when you don't have all the answers...so sometime giving up seems like the ideal solution...but never an option...gotta just keep on keeping and whatever is to happen will happen...uncertainty just sucks

Brandy