Slacker

I havent posted in 2 days...what a slacker I am...too late of nights the last 2 nights to feel like trying to be witty afterwards...

Nothing really new anyways...still debating the whole job thing...at this point not being offered the job may be the best thing so I dont have to make a decision...but then that would be annoying too...sigh though the pro con list is pretty lopsided meaning literally there is just one pro...and a whole list of cons...so i still just dont know...

Dr appt tomorrow...better be productive or i'll be annoyed...anyways I think that is all...maybe i'll think of something more later...

Brandy

Calm for now

So after the little fit I had yesterday I'm much calmer today...I think I was too tired to think about anything today...I have been ready for bed since I got up this morning...I know sounds ridiculous...but after the drive to work I'm usually exhausted...and then sitting doing data entry doesn't require one to be really awake...

I think I felt extra tired today cause I also felt fat...like I feel like I suddenly ballooned...which I know its more so in my head but after losing a good bit a weight I'm not exactly thrilled about gaining it back...but I guess you'll have that...and right now I should really stop watching food network cause its giving it way too many ideas about future cravings lol...

Well think I'm gonna keep this short and sweet cause I'm tired and am going to go to bed...night all

Brandy

Why isnt there a give up option some days...

Every time I think I decided on a path to start on a huge pothole gets in the way...I decided to at least apply for a different job where I can make a significant amount of money...that'd be great but now I realize no medical for 3 months if i'd get hired...well thats not gonna work...I doubt I can afford cobra insurance for the 3 months and I'd make too much money for any type of medical assistance...so now I'm just idling...

I feel like I'm back at the beginning of this dilemma again...the only pro to the other job is money...and money is important but all the cons like the drive, the hours, the probation period w/ no medical coverage...are kinda beginning to not seem like the money really isn't worth it...

Its just so frustrating...and the only person I can be frustrated at is myself for getting me into this mess...and don't misunderstand I will love this kid and give it the world and never hold my error against it cause it didn't ask for any of this...and maybe I'm just too hard on myself but when your the only one who is being held accountable its just disappointing when you don't have all the answers...so sometime giving up seems like the ideal solution...but never an option...gotta just keep on keeping and whatever is to happen will happen...uncertainty just sucks

Brandy

Late Night

Well it is way past my bedtime...and I would of thought I'd be more tired than what I am right now...I'm impressed.

Tyler, my nephew, today was so cute...he kicked me (not the cute part) and mom goes  you can't do that she has a baby in her belly...and he goes to me where is it did you leave it at home...I actually wonder how he'll react to mine and chelle's babies...he is not that into his baby brother...he pretends but he's sneaky...he'll act like he's being sweet but then he'll try to squeeze him to hard...so he'll either not like them cause he doesn't get all the attention or hopefully like them more than his baby brother since he doesn't have to share his mommy with them lol

Omg went shopping today...tried on this tank top, now it was in the regular section of clothes...and was made like a baby doll shirt so it would work as the belly gets bigger...Well it has this ruffle that started at the bottom and went up to the middle of the shirt and back down to the bottom...so I put it on and burst out laughing...the ruffle literally would frame a pregnant belly...when I walked out of the dressing room and showed Brit...she was like it looks like a stroller top...I mean I'm not sure what the designer was thinking or why anyone would want to wear it cause even if you weren't pregnant it would make you look pregnant or that u were wearing a stroller canopy...oh wait let me add a link to it...http://www.kmart.com/shc/s/p_10151_10104_027B030251850001P?prdNo=29&blockNo=79&blockType=G79
Now can see what I mean...it is a nice color that's why I liked it...unfortunately that's all it had going for it...

Alright tired now...good night all

Brandy

Hello Friday

Oh thank goodness its Friday...seems like its been like a long week...sad thing is I think I've been in bed before 10 all week and probably before 9 at least twice...but god 5 am comes quick...

Next week is gonna be a long week too...I have my phone days scheduled on Monday and Wednesday...oh at work were required to do 2 phone days a month and stay till 5...I know gee I hope that's not too hard...don't worry it is for most of them...I take advantage of them and work 10 hour shifts so I can then leave early on other days...but I have a doctor appt on Friday so thanks to my jobs flexibility I probably just take the day off...and if I'm a really good girl I'll work 10 hr shifts Tuesday and Thursday too but that may be a bit much...I have all the following week to squeeze in the other 4 hours. 

So its like a quarter after 9 and I'm seriously thinking about going to bed...How sad...but I better get use to having no life and sleep while I can...since I'm sure getting a baby on a schedule is much easier in my head than it will be in real life...

Brandy

What to do...what to do...

I feel stuck...money makes the world go round...and I don't make enough of it...
I really like my job...the hours are flexible...its mon-fri...and its super easy...but I took a good pay cut...in the end sticking it out I can make good money...but the problem is waiting...a baby takes money...but i also need a baby friendly schedule...
I've been debating on looking for a new job or seeing about going back to my old one...but i just don't know what to do...I'd end up getting stuck on a crappy schedule that wouldn't be convenient for a baby or doctor appts...but I'd make more money...ugh...not to mention I'd be miserable...
I just don't know what to do...i know either way I'll make it work cause I have to...but any ideas or opinions would be appreciated!

Brandy

Now what

Well its sad after 2 whole blog posts I don't know what to blog about right now...in my family everything kind of hits us at once then there is a lull...right now there is kind of a lull...
Don't have a dr appt till April 1st...so nothing new there...hopefully they'll attempt to find a heart beat...otherwise all these appts seem useless...
I think I had mentioned no morning sickness or anything...and no real food aversions...though now I like orange juice...which I hated orange juice, unless there was alcohol mixed w/ it...now I can chug a whole bottle so weird...otherwise no pickle cravings above norm...it seems more like a hamburger and potato type of thing...i am forever wanting some form of potatoes: mashed, fried, tater totted...idk cant get enough of them lol...
Oh talking about food has made me hungry...think I'm gonna go find something to eat...wouldn't be surprised if it was some form of potato!!!

Brandy

Catching up on the last 12 weeks

So I figured I might as well do a little background on what has been going on for the last 12 weeks since I kind of just jumped into this blog that far along.

So some may say I'm psycho but I really knew I was pregnant well before I should of...I could tell something was wrong...when I mentioned it to my friend and she had asked how late I was and I told her I wasn't late it was still 10 days away...pretty sure she thought I was crazy and told me I was fine and not pregnant.

Well 15 days later...the usual 10 plus my 5 days of procrastinating on actually taking a test cause I didn't want to confirm what I already knew...I finally bought a cheap pregnancy test at a dollar store...funny side note that day I also bought pickles...I needed them for a work event...so yes at the dollar store I bought pickles and a pregnancy test...anywho...when I finally took the test the 2nd line was faint...I was hoping I was hallucinating it...so I snapped a pic w/ my cellphone...nope line was there...not imagining it...

So I panicked, texted a friend to remind me to breathe and try to reassure me that this cheap pregnancy test is wrong...after she talked some common sense into me it was off to Walgreen for a more expensive test and to her house to take it...though I do not understand why something you pee on is so expensive.  Anyways I chose one of those fancy ones that just say pregnant or not pregnant...when i finally worked up enough nerve to take it...let me tell ya reading the word pregnant not any more comforting than lines or plus signs...

After that I was kind hoping I could go about life and pretend this was all a dream...well that doesn't work....so i finally man'd up and called a doctor to confirm it...which of course was positive as well...now I really had to choose a doctor and stuff...which if you know me...we know I don't like doctors nor trust them and apparently as long as everything seems okay they are not in a hurry to make a first appt. 

So with appts scheduled and out of the way it was time to figure out how and when was I breaking the news to certain people...at this point my friend and the baby daddy knew...(side note on the baby daddy cause I'm only going to mention him once-he cared for all of 3 days then decided to stop speaking to me-whatever don't have time for games got bigger fish to fry...he will be handled thru proper legal pathways when the time comes)...at that time there was way to much going on with my family that it never seemed like the right time to mention it...something was always going wrong or causing an uproar...then my littlest sister actually found out she was pregnant...my god I thought I was going to have a heart attack...just what my mom needed...1 daughter with 2 kids already and her 2 other daughters both pregnant.  Not to mention we also found out dad possibly have lung cancer...at this point I just kept my mouth shout cause how much really could my mother take...finally after squashing one of many little fires going on...I told her...she handled it surprisingly well not that I'd expect anything less...

So on to telling my other good friend...now part of the problem there was my own guilt I guess...she is married and they want kids and even if they don't want them right now it would seem like she should be the one pregnant...but her brain is broken right now...so since the part that is broken controls hormones that's not possible right now...which made me feel guilty that I accidentally got pregnant...but of course when I finally told her she was probably more excited about it than I have been and if she asks me one more time when will we know if its a boy or a girl...I'm going to not find out on purpose just to drive her nuts!!! lol

Now a few more people know and its about that time that hiding it much longer isn't going to be possible...I still need to get a few more ducks in a row like oh where am I raising the kid at and such...u know little things...as of right now everything seems okay with the baby...no morning sickness or anything like that...most complicated thing has been getting blood work done but we'll save that for another blog probably about how annoying the doctor appts are...this blog is long enough for now...but I guess its not too bad for trying to catch up for 12 weeks

 Brandy

The Parents Connect 3D Pregnancy Widget

Baby Names

Names

Pregnancy

I'm having a baby...

I wasn't really sure how to start this blog off...I guess starting off with a little bit about myself would be a good idea.  My name is Brandy, I'm 29 yrs old and on 3/23/11 I'll be 12 weeks pregnant.

I guess the next best thing would be why am I doing this...I guess I kind of wanted to give an perspective from someone older about an unplanned pregnancy.  TV and tabloids have happily sensationalized teen pregancies...to the point teens think having a baby will make them famous.  What I don't understand is how do those teens even think having babies at their age is a good idea...I'm 29 and I am still wondering if becoming a single parent is a good idea and I have a full time job, health insurance, and come from a good family who will help me out. 


As of right now my immediate family and some close friends know of this little predicament I have gotten myself into.  Soon I'm going have to let work and other people know...though in some ways I'd partially be content with as few people knowing as possible...Maybe thats why its easier to glorify a teen pregnancy over someone older...they must not have any shame...As my blog title states Pregnancy Happens...its kind of my way with coping with the situation oh it happens...but I feel odd about it...someways I feel embarrassed like I'm old enough to have know better and not of gotten myself in this situation...other times I'm happy cause I am going to have a baby...most times panic sets in on how am I really going to afford a baby and who's gonna watch it while I'm at work...and congratulations from doctors and such to me are just awkward of course I say thank you but I'm not so sure I want to be congratulated on this odd accomplishment.

My plan for this blog is just kind of a place for me to write what I think about the whole little ordeal...my version of cameras following me around except I can do my own editing lol...as far as grammar editing you can forget it...I'm not big into correct punctuation and prefer ...over proper endings or beginnings to sentences...I feel like I type the way I speak...I'd rather feel like I'm holding a conversation than giving a lecture...well thats all for now...have a good night y'all

Brandy